With · my · own · two · hands

So, i'm going to be using this thing to keep track of a school project i'm working on.. but before i do that, a real entry.

finals ended on Monday for me with three finals back to back to back which was KILLER. i studied almost nonstop everyday for the 7 days before monday.. and i still don't know how well i did. well.. i studied nonstop for my hardest class. anyway, it's nice to have my life back. and it's nice not having to wake up early to go to the library.

studying for finals was difficult because i knew my grade in all of my classes depended on the grade i got on the final. and the thing is i wanted an A in all my classes and i ended up putting a lot of (unneccessary) stress on myself. getting an A in all my classes isn't so much for my GPA as it is for myself, to prove that i can do it.. i hate being average.. but sometimes i wish i could just accept the fact that B's aren't so bad..

sooooo, what are everyone's plans for winterbreak? i have this school project (stupid sixth college) that i have to do next quarter, and my professor is having me start early by working over winter break. how depressing.. it puts a major damper on my fun. lol and it's really hard to wake up early and get to school by 9:30 because (a) i'm still catching up on the sleep i missed out on in the past week, and (b) my boss at pfizer doesn't give a shit when i come into work. so.. it's hard to be on time (sad, huh?). anyway, school project aside, i will be in tahoe from the 13-20ish for some hardcore snowboarding (and some hardcore partying?), and in TO shortly after that. and maybe in vegas for new year's eve. and then back to san diego to work on my project. meh.

anyway, hope everyone survived finals week.. enjoy your freedom :)

there's too much dressing on my salad, and now it's gross.

...because the more i try to read this damn paper for my damn biochem class, the more stressed out i get. 3 finals on monday. 3 finals on monday. 3 finals on monday. really seriously honestly i'm trying not to freak out about it, but i'm having a hard time with it. i feel overwhelmed, and ever so slightly (just slightly..) depressed. ugh, i'm even frustrated with this entry because i don't know how to say what i'm feeling.

Looks like i've only been updating this thing like.. once a month now. School keeps me ridiculously busy. Two of my professors expect us to "take advantage" of the break and study for the finals. We'll see.. keep your fingers crossed. This post really has no deep, insightful meaning. I'm updating for the sake of updating and because i never feel sleepy when i sleep alone..

I guess i could try to make this somewhat meaningful? Um.. despite how busy i am, i like it. Ok yeah lack of sleep isn't desirable, but i hear that life only has meaning when you're being challenged (eh? eh?). I can't believe this quarter will be over in about 10 days. All 3 of my finals are on monday of finals week (woohoo), and i feel screwed and anxious and pressure. But winter break will be wonderful and i cant wait.

I guess i lied about this entry being meaningful. This past saturday was 5 months with brian. Five whole months. It's gone by really quickly.. and yeah.. we fight kind of alot (lol) but nothing we can't work through. I feel like we're still working out the kinks in our communication problems. Anyway, I took him to Coronoado island because he had never been. That place is cute.. very quaint. Took him to a potluck that my sister's friend was holding.. we participated in a beer pong tournament (these people are like.. 26-28 years old) and we only got to the 2nd round (lost by the last cup!!). Owell, it was fun :)

Thanksgiving breeeaaakkkk is sooooooon and i've been informed of a party and i'm excited for the debauchery that will ensue. WOOHOO.

My hair is getting long.

Over. Out. Goodnight.

Wow i'm surprised i've gone this long without posting. Then again, this is the busiest quarter ive ever had in my 3.3 years here at ucsd.

School started and week 1 was hell. I swear Michelle's birthday lasted for two days. My friend and i planned a surprise party for her and sadly the surprise was ruined like... seriously 8 hours prior to the party. But it was still a success. HELLLLLLAAA people (pardon my.. norcal?) showed up and it was a blast.. i had bought a handle of cuervo, two bottles of REALLY good margarita mix, two 30 packs of beer.. and that wasnt enough. The tequila lasted (barely) and even though some beer was brought.. in the end i think someone had to make an alcohol run. The next night we all went out to dinner for miche's birthday at this mexican place in del mar (yum). I swear michelle's birthday left me drained the whole week haha.

Week 2.. kinda started setting a schedule for myself for school, work, and homework. Pretty much, mon-thurs i'm out of my apartment from about 10:30 to about 5 or 7 at night (depending on the day).. some days i stay longer to go to the library to do homework and study. I barely have time to eat lunch.. Fridays i only have class 11-12 but the rest of the day is set aside for Pfizer. Mondays i go from school to work back to school and end at 7; mondays are the worst. God i'm such a geek (leo.. we'll start a club, but you can be president because.. i don't think an explanation is really needed). I am surprised however by how efficient i'm being with my time.. not to toot my own horn, but then again who wants to toot their own horn about being efficient enough to finish their hw early? Anyway..

Week 3 is almost over and it's been a lot like week 2. Wednesdays are my favorites, only because i get to have dinner with brian and friends and watch LOST (i LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE lost). The weekend is coming and Fall Fest is on friday.. Hot Hot Heat is coming to campus to play for free and i'm excited. Party and lots of studying the rest of the weekend though. One midterm and one quiz (that might as well be a midterm) next week. And then one midterm the week after. And then halloween!!

Life has been hectic and busy but good (as good as it could be anyway). Money is tight.. probably the tightest its ever been. I suspect thats because of less time for work + miche's birthday present + paying for alcohol for miche's birthday + BOOKS. So i'm hoping next month will be a little less burdensome...... *crosses fingers* Anyway it's late and i have class early (10am) so.. goodnight everyone.
xo.

The whole day and night before school started, i was super antsy.. restless. And i couldn't sleep the night before the first day of school. Anticipating all the stress that is to come out of my senior year.. ugh.. makes me anxious. Senior year is supposed to be the best year.. i don't know how i'm supposed to handle school (considering my schedule) and squeeze in work, as well as a boyfriend and a social life.. and maybe some running. oh yeah, and maybe doing stuff for grad/pharm school. I just feel like there's so much to do (all being very important) and seriously not enough time to do it all. I only got through 2 days of school and i'm already worried.

I don't think i've done a real update for a while. Let's see.. i went up to Sac a few weeks ago to visit brian. That was really fun, got to visit San Francisco, go wake boarding/tubing, and go hiking in Yosemite. Yosemite is beautiful, but the hike kicked my ass. Wake boarding was really really fun, also kicked my ass and made me sore for like a week, but i stood up on my third attempt :) San Francisco.. that was alot of fun too. We went to Pier 39, walked around, visited Haight and Ashbury, visited Golden Gate Park, visited.. something Square (big shopping area), Ghiradelli Square, i had tons of fun.

After nor cal.. there was that whole incident with my car. I am now driving my mom's nissan altima (yay!) because Cecile is officially retired.

Um.. i had dinner with my sister and her boyfriend, and they got to meet brian :) that was good.

Hmmm... other than that life hasn't been that eventful, i guess. I finished summer school and now i'm just working. I feel like as soon as i get paid, the money disappears (as in.. goes towards food, booze, etc. lol). So i gotta squeeze in a few more hours.

This summer is flying by. I can't believe it's already mid-august. It feels like the summer hasn't even started.. like i'm still waiting for something to happen. I want to go somewhere. Last summer I went to Hawaii, and that was great. This summer.. i'm not doing anything :( sadness.

Something (good) needs to happen.

Oh yeah, so on saturday i went to go see 16 Blocks (which was really good) and after the movie got out, it was raining outside. So right as we stepped outside to walk to the car, it started POURING. And we just thought.. ok.. walk kinda fast. Then it started HARDCORE pouring and at this point we start running (in a matter of seconds my jeans are soaked). About halfway to the car, it started HAILING on us!! That shit hurts man, especially when you're running and it's hitting you in the face. I mean the hail wasn't that big.. smaller than the size of a pea. Anyway.. i had to stop and laugh and look around because, i had never seen hail before.. c'mon. Thousand Oaks? So yeah.. finally we got to the car.. and it all stopped. But it was a fun experience :)

Haven't updated this thing in a loooong time. Things are very good here :) just trying to get through school and.. life. Got sick over the weekend (boo) but had a good weekend nevertheless. I have my physics lab final today at 5, my music final tomorrow at 9:30. The rest of my finals are next week *stress* yeah. Then spring break!!!! No plans yet. Probably working and hanging out w/the wifey and going home for a few days. We'll see though. That's it. Good luck with finals everyone!

Friday night miche and i kicked it at aram's. Saturday, breakfast at Le Peep's and then drove home to TO. I was SUPPOSED to go to SB with Dale but that fell through :( so i hung out with jeremiah's parents haha. Tessa is getting BIG. Sunday, errands, some studying, and dinner with my mom and stepdad (i had 3 glasses of wine and then went to the gym like an hour later.. that definitely led to a headache haha). Spent all of monday with my mom and stepdad.. we took the dog.. oh yeah, so my dad has an australian sheperd whose name is Faye-faye (?). he says it's french but in chinese when said correctly, her name means "fatty" haha but she's not fat, she just has a lot of hair. anyway, we took the dog for a walk and went to coffee bean and back. my stepdad cooked tons of yummy food that i brought back to SD.. and, yeah. the drive back wasn't bad. just some traffic around LAX. anyway, pictures because you guys know you're a picture whore too:

how cute is she?




yay for goofiness :)






my stepdad made a swan.. hahaha


my mom.. 2 glasses of wine later :)


this is faye-faye


Hope everyone had a nice relaxing weekend!

Valentines day definitely was not as bad as i was expecting. I woke up in a good mood, my americano was fantastic, i stayed awake for all my classes, and got good results in physics lab. Most of all, valentines day was good because of:








you can't really see but he wrote "i <3 minkie" on the back of the receipt haha





unexpected text message from a certain someone (ooo?), unexpected flowers from my friend keithSAMSON, amazing dinner with michelle (included good red wine and dark chocolate and chocolate covered strawberries), and a last minute valentine who i had yummy margaritas with (and one too many margaritas at that, because i come home and passed out on my bed for a good half hour). Hopefully everyone had a good/decent Valentines Day.

Soooo.. this weekend was a BLAST. Nicole Benson came down from SLO to kick it w/miche and me for the weekend. Friday night we blazed and played edward 40 hands (which put me out of commission for the rest of that night and all of the next day). Saturday night we sushi and sake bombed and went to sigma nu and played beirut at aram's and then went and hung out with swimmers :) . Today just chilllllled.. went to breakfast at the cottage in downtown la jolla, laid out in the sun, went to school for the la jolla symphony performance. Relaxing day. Here are pics from the weekend, because pictures always sum things up better than words:

So what did everyone think of the game?? :) It was intense, you guys should have seen michelle.. she was for the steelers (and therefore so was i haha). I gotta say to Nick who commented on Greg's lj about the steelers' running game.. it was pretty bad and you were right. BUT seahawks still got their butts handed to them in the end. The best i think was the play in the third quarter that Roethlisberger threw to Ward. And props to Randle El who came back in the game, cuz he took a pretty bad hit early in the game. And where the heck was Polamalu the whole game??? What a fun day :)

Oh yeah, so we played some football before the game started. Miche and I were team captains. My team consisted of Eric and Joe. Miche's team had Sean Shali and Franco. My team won 6-2, and they had been drinking on the ride up i think. hahahaha.. AND i didn't even do anything. it was amusing.

"Yeah.. after Jeremiah you kinda... exploded."

Mirrors are clean, knuckle is normal, and working things out for real - this time, without the "help" of a boy.

This quarter is turning out to be one of the shittier ones. Come to think of it, i've never had a good winter quarter. Pretty much, everyday except for thursdays i go from 9am-6pm with class and work. With one class on thursdays, i have to spend the rest of the day studying physics because that class is kicking my ass. fucking quantum. *sigh* i hate winter quarter.

Friday: comfort shopping (which wasn't as comforting as i was hoping), bought a volcom bag. dinner. beirut table hunting with garrett (came home with.. nothing). kegger at the guys' house. blaaaazed. party at JAKS/jenise's house. dry humped by matt feaster. beirut at Aram's. first serious case of the munchies around 1:30am. crisscut fries from carl's never tasted so fucking good. best sleep ever at 2:30am (once zach finally got off my bed - "NO PENISES IN MY BED!!!!").

Saturday: brunch with nick megan ryan mush and eric at Harry's in downtown la jolla. costco. cleaned the apartment like a mofo. more beirut at Aram's. finally slept around 3:30am i think.

Sunday: venti americano. biochem. biochem. steelers game. biochem. islands with jenise. biochem. update LJ.

Here's a little taste of the weekend ;)

Classes started last week and i already have a shitload of.. shit to do. Physics2D is what i expected, music is what i expected, biochem is what i expected but i'm kinda scared cuz i'm WAY behind in the reading/homework, and physics lab.. seems stupid. Whatever.

Shali and Priti had their 21st Birthday Party last friday and it was insanely fun.





Yeah.. that's just a little taste of what the night was like. Dancing and drinking and dancing. Prepartied with Patron and took tons of pics (posted on facebook.. duh haha). Hung out with Howard and Aram and Aram's roommates the next night, and went to a Sig Ep party. The next night me and miche went to the guys' house and played beirut and just chilled. Didn't do a whole lot on my day off. In fact.. i can't remember what i did haha how sad. oh wait, i went to starbucks and studied with jenise all day.

This week has been loooooong. And i'm glad tomorrow is the weekend. Oh yeah, i caught a cold over the holiday weekend so this whole week has been pretty crappy. Loads of homework/reading AND a cold. Yay. I need to cut back on the drinking and start sleeping.. haha.

So tonight, i went out for a belated bday dinner with rach steph grace and mushymushmush. And it was sooooooo good :) I rarely ever have a girls' night out (partly because i don't have that many girlfriends) and it's nice to spend a night with just girls. How weird is this.. here's a picture from our last dinner at Royal Thai back in June:





and heeeeere is the picture from tonight:





Almost exactly the same!!! Ha! Look how short my hair is in that first picture.. i look different with long(er) hair.. :) annnnyway. I think i've put physics off long enough. It beckons. Hope everyone's quarter is getting off to the right start!! <3

Living with integrity means:

Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships.

Asking for what you want and need from others.

Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension.

Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values.

Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.